By the sandpit in the residential community, six-year-old Xiao Ming and Xiao Fang were famous 'rivals.' They had played together since childhood but always loved to compete with each other.
Xiaofang's family was well-off, so she got new toys every few days. Today it was a walking doll, tomorrow a glowing remote-control car, the day after a shiny princess dress. Each time, she would hold it right under Xiaoming's nose, wave it around, and say proudly:
“Look! I have another new one! Do you?”
Xiaoming's family was ordinary, toys were pitifully few. After being shown off to repeatedly, he felt worse and worse inside. That day, Xiaofang came over again with a singing Barbie doll and deliberately sang it three times in front of him.
Xiaoming finally couldn't take it anymore. He looked around, confirmed there were no adults nearby, then suddenly pulled down his pants, pointed at his little penis, and said loudly:
"This! You'll never have it!"
Xiaofang was stunned at first, then her eyes lit up. Not only was she not shy, but she also quickly took off her pants, pointed at her own little bottom, puffed out her chest, and retorted:
“My mom said it—just have this, and you can have as much of that thing as you want!”
Xiaoming froze in place, his mouth agape, unable to speak for a long time.
Seeing him dumbfounded, Xiaofang became even more pleased with herself. She deliberately pulled up her pants and then took them off again on purpose, repeating her mother's 'words of wisdom'.
The two stood off like that by the sandpit, each holding evidence that said “never,” and confidence that said “as much as you want,” until Xiao Fang’s mother called to her from far away to come home for dinner, and this “battle of the century” was forcibly brought to an end.
From that day on, Xiaoming no longer dared to compete with Xiaofang over toys. And Xiaofang became the "ultimate winner" among the neighborhood children. Whenever a boy wanted to show off something, she would leisurely say:
“Want to compare who has the more powerful stuff?”
The children seemed to understand vaguely: Xiao Fang seemed to have mastered some secret of dimensional reduction strike.
After Xiaoming returned home, he secretly told his dad about this. After listening, his dad first laughed heartily, then seriously lectured him: 'From now on, no taking off your pants outside! Especially don't compare that with girls!'
Over at Xiaofang's place, after hearing her daughter's retelling, her mother was both angry and amused. She pulled her into the room and said seriously: 'Mom was joking with you... From now on, you are not allowed to take off your pants in public! Do you hear me?'"
But in the children’s world, this sentence had already become a legend.
Years later, Xiao Ming and Xiao Fang had both grown up. At a class reunion, someone brought up childhood antics, and Xiao Ming still couldn't help but cover his face: 'Don't mention it, I still remember how foolish I was back then.'
Xiaofang smiled and raised her glass: 'Who told you to take yours off first? I'm just giving you a taste of your own medicine.'
The two exchanged a smile. That childish back-and-forth of mutual teasing became the most absurd, and also the most unforgettable, page of their youth.
And the phrase 'My mom said, with this, you can have as much of that thing as you want' also became a classic joke occasionally retold in our friend circle—reminding everyone: sometimes, the real winner isn't the one who has what others don't, but the one who knows how to turn the other's pride into their own laughingstock.
After graduating from elementary school, Xiaoming and Xiaofang entered the same middle school but were in different classes. They saw each other less often, but the legend of 'taking off pants' quietly spread among the boys and girls.
Once during PE class, a few boys egged Xiaoming on to tell the story of what happened back then again. Xiaoming blushed and refused to say anything, which only made them egg him on more. Finally, he had to briefly recount what happened, ending with a special emphasis:
“I was educated by my dad afterward, so none of you should copy me!”
On the girls' side, Xiao Fang's version was more complete. She told her best friends the exact words 'My mom said...' without changing a single character. After hearing it, her friends laughed so hard they rolled on the playground, exclaiming, 'Your mom really has a way with words!'
In my second year of junior high school, the school organized a social gathering. Xiao Ming and Xiao Fang were assigned to the same group to do games. In one part of the game there was 'Truth or Dare'; someone deliberately drew Xiao Ming and asked him, 'What is one thing you regret most from when you were little?'
Xiaoming glanced at Xiaofang, who was also looking at him. They both laughed out loud simultaneously.
Xiaoming answered honestly: "Most regret taking off my pants in public and losing completely."
The whole venue erupted in laughter. Xiaofang then added insult to injury: “He deserved to lose. Who told him to pick a fight first.”
The atmosphere instantly became relaxed. From then on, the 'hostility' between the two gradually turned into familiar banter. They would nod when they met, and occasionally complain together about having too much homework.
In high school, Xiaofang's family was still well-off, and she would still buy novel things. Once, she waved the latest limited-edition headphones in front of Xiaoming, instinctively wanting to show off, but suddenly stopped and said with a smile:
"Forget it, I won't compare with you anymore. I'd win when it comes to toys, but as for other things... I'm afraid you'll want to take off your pants again."
Xiaoming didn't know whether to laugh or cry: 'Can you forget about this?'
Xiaofang blinked: 'Unforgettable. That was my highlight moment.'
After parting ways for university, the two of them kept in touch less. Until the class reunion the year they graduated, everyone gathered again. After several rounds of drinks, someone brought up the old matter, demanding Xiao Ming and Xiao Fang 're-enact' it in front of everyone.
Xiaoming raised his glass, helpless yet amused, and said, 'I declare, I lost back then. Lost wholeheartedly and willingly.'
Xiaofang also raised her glass: 'Then I declare, my mom is the best at talking. That sentence saved my childhood dignity.'
The whole venue burst into laughter again. Someone heckled them to act it out once, but the two of them flatly refused, only agreeing to read the dialogue once more.
“You’ll never have this!”
“My mom said that as long as you have this, you can have as much of that thing of yours as you want!”
After reading it, everyone present laughed until they bent over. Even the usually most serious teacher-like figure couldn't help but say: 'This child's mother, her logic is too strong.'
After the gathering ended, Xiao Ming walked Xiao Fang home. On the way, he suddenly asked, 'Do you still compare things with others now?'
Xiaofang shook her head: 'No. Growing up, I realized that the truly important things aren't the ones you can show off.'
Xiaoming nodded: "Me too. But that line, I still think it's amazing even now."
The two stopped beneath a streetlight and smiled at each other. The absurdity of childhood, the awkwardness of youth, and the relief of adulthood all blended into that smile.
Later, Xiao Ming became an engineer and Xiao Fang became a designer. They did not end up together, but became old friends who occasionally kept in touch. Whenever life brought a moment to boast or be boasted about, one of them would always send the other a message:
"Careful, don’t force me to take off my pants."
Another person then replied:
"Don’t forget, I have the final say."
That innocent, unfiltered conversation became their exclusive secret code. It reminded both: some victories aren’t about possessing something, but about responding cleverly, quickly, and leaving the other speechless.
And in the more distant future, when they had children of their own, perhaps they would also tell this story to the next generation—of course, first adjusting the explicitness to an appropriate level, then watching the children's somewhat understanding expressions and laughing out loud themselves.
Because truly good jokes never go out of style. They just find new audiences, continuing to make people remember, amidst laughter, those times once spent earnestly contending.
Time passed quickly. The year Xiao Ming turned thirty, he got married. The bride was a classmate from university. At the wedding, almost all his childhood playmates were present, Xiao Fang also came, bringing a gift.
During the toast, someone stirred things up, urging Xiao Ming to share an embarrassing childhood story. Xiao Ming adamantly refused, but Xiao Fang smiled and helped him out: 'He can talk about something else, but let's skip that one. We should leave the groom a little dignity.'
The groom immediately breathed a sigh of relief and privately thanked Xiaofang. Xiaofang just raised her wine glass: 'Winning against you once when we were kids is enough.'
Xiaofang herself had always focused on design work and didn't meet the right person until her early thirties. At the engagement banquet, Xiaoming was invited as an old friend. During the banquet, someone asked about the thing she was most proud of from her childhood. After thinking for a moment, she finally just said: 'Once during a debate, I used one sentence to completely silence the other side.'"
No one pressed for details, but Xiao Ming heard it clearly from across the way and couldn't help but smile.
After each of them set up their own households, they stayed in touch less, but never completely cut off. They send blessings during holidays and festivals, like each other's posts on social media, and occasionally when they see fragments of the other's life, they pause to look at them a bit longer.
After Xiaoming had a son, he once took the child back to play in the old neighborhood. The sandpit was still there, but the equipment had been replaced with new ones. His son was digging in the dirt, and Xiaoming stood beside him. Suddenly, he remembered the scene from many years ago when he had taken off his pants, and his face flushed slightly.
Coincidentally, Xiao Fang also brought her daughter. The two adults locked eyes from afar, both paused for a moment, then laughed.
The child played in front, while the two of them chatted in the back.
Xiaoming spoke first: 'Remember this place?'
Xiaofang nodded: 'I remember. I remember your expression back then, even more dramatic than now.'
Xiaoming didn't know whether to laugh or cry: 'Can you stop talking? My son is right here.'
Xiaofang lowered her voice: 'Don't worry, I won't corrupt the next generation. But...' She glanced at her own daughter, then at Xiaoming's son, 'If they ever start showing off to each other in the future, I might tweak that sentence a bit before telling her.'
Xiaoming quickly waved his hands: "Absolutely not. Let them compare toys normally, not other things."
The two exchanged smiles. The laughter in the sandpit and the sound of shoveling earth overlapped with those from many years ago, yet were completely different.
A few years later, Xiao Ming’s son and Xiao Fang’s daughter went to the same primary school. At parent-teacher meetings, the two met again and became, quite literally, "colleague parents." Once, the school organized a parent-child activity that required parents to cooperate in performing a short act. Xiao Fang suggested doing a skit, and Xiao Ming immediately became wary:
"What do you want to act?"
Xiaofang blinked: "Don't worry, I won't take off my pants. We'll just act out a regular toy battle."
In the end, they performed a mild version: 'The boy has a new remote-control car, the girl has a new doll, and in the end, they exchange and play.' The children watched happily, completely unaware that in the hearts of the two parents on stage, there actually lay a completely different, much more explicit original story.
After the event, Xiaoming said seriously, 'Thank you for never spreading the original version everywhere.'
Xiaofang shrugged: "It wouldn't be a big deal to publicize it. But keeping it as a secret between two people is more interesting."
After middle age, the lives of the two gradually became stable. Xiao Ming reached management level at the company, and Xiao Fang's design studio also had a stable team. They rarely mentioned childhood things anymore, but whenever moments of "showing off" and "being shown off" appeared in life, one of them would still think of the sunlight by the sandpit and those two innocent childhood conversations.
At an old classmates' reunion one year, someone brought it up again. This time, Xiao Ming didn't avoid it but said calmly:
“That was the one time I lost the most completely, and also the one time I should have lost the most. She taught me that some things are not won by possessing them, but by responding to them.”
Xiaofang listened nearby without joining the conversation, just gently raising her glass to clink with his from afar.
The sound of the glass clinking together was very light, yet it seemed to gently bring together many years of time.
The story has no more climaxes from here. What remains is just two children who once competed, now grown into adults who share a knowing smile. They carefully store the most absurd part of their conversation in their memories, treating it both as a joke and a reminder—
Remind yourself that winning or losing is never the most important thing.
What's important is, being able to talk about it with a smile many years later, and not feeling awkward.
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