That year, as my junior year ended and I was about to enter my senior year, Xiao Yue and I had been dating for over two years. Logically, it was time to meet the elders. During summer vacation, I suggested going together to her home in W City, Zhejiang. Xiao Yue readily agreed.
Meeting my future father-in-law and mother-in-law for the first time, I couldn't help but be nervous. I specifically went to the barbershop to get a haircut and bought a few fresh, clean clothes. Xiaoyue saw me looking like I was facing a formidable enemy and teased with a laugh: 'Feng, my parents are really easygoing, they won't eat you.'
Passenger traffic from Chongqing to W City was heavy, and sleeper tickets were hard to buy. Standing for more than twenty hours would definitely be too much to bear, so as soon as we got on the train we pushed toward the dining car to buy a supplement ticket. The carriage was crowded, and I pulled Xiaoyue sideways as we moved forward. She dragged her suitcase with one hand and held my hand with the other, and the pair of firm breasts in front of her chest kept bumping into others from time to time. I deliberately slowed down, using the corner of my eye to watch those “accidental” rubs, and I unexpectedly felt a trace of indescribable excitement in my heart.
A bearded man in his thirties stood in the aisle with his arms crossed. When Xiaoyue passed by, he pretended to step aside, but his arm firmly brushed against her chest. I deliberately stumbled underfoot, making Xiaoyue’s body press against him even more heavily. By the time they reached the dining car, her front was already a bit disheveled.
The sleeper car was relatively quiet, and the journey passed without incident. After leaving W City Railway Station, the city's prosperity rushed toward us. After getting on the bus to Xiao Yue's home, the crowd gradually grew denser. We got on at the starting station and had seats, but soon the bus was packed with standing passengers. I noticed a slightly sleazy middle-aged man diagonally behind us, whose gaze kept lingering on the neckline of Xiao Yue's loose round-neck T-shirt. The bus jolted, and gaps in the neckline kept showing; from his elevated position, he could clearly see.
Later an elderly couple came aboard, and we stood up to give up our seats. Only after standing did I truly feel how crowded it was. At some point, that man had squeezed in behind Xiao Yue, pressing his body tightly against hers, his waist thrusting forward continuously. Xiao Yue was wearing a thin short skirt; her butt was separated from his by only a few layers of cloth. At first she thought it was due to the crowd, but by the time she realized something was wrong, it was too late. The man wrapped an arm around her waist from behind, pressed his whole body against hers and rubbed against her, even leaning close to say something in her ear. Xiao Yue turned and glared at him, but she couldn’t stop that hand from climbing to her chest and kneading it through her clothes. She struggled hard, yet in the eyes of others it looked as if she were holding the man’s hand herself.
I watched, blood boiling, but also worried things might escalate. When I finally squeezed through and gave a warning look, the man hurriedly let go and quickly got off at the next stop, slipping away. Xiaoyue looked somewhat downcast. I suppressed the urge to question her further, focusing first on the upcoming meeting with her parents.
Xiaoyue's home is a duplex with a good location. The door was opened by a beautiful middle-aged woman in her forties, Xiaoyue's mother. She welcomed us in and called upstairs for Xiaoyue's father. Father was tall, with a bronze complexion and sharp eyes, clearly having served in the military. I took the initiative to shake hands and introduce myself. He was amiable and seemed even more friendly when we talked about basketball.
Dinner was sumptuous, and the atmosphere was harmonious. After the meal, as I helped clean up, Xiao Yue gently pushed me away, saying, 'A man shouldn't be doing this.' Those words warmed my heart. Around nine o'clock, Uncle and Auntie went back to their room to rest. I lay in the guest room for a long time, unable to fall asleep, missing Xiao Yue's warmth, so I quietly slipped into her room.
The door wasn't locked. Xiao Yue pretended to sleep with her back to the door. I hugged her from behind and tickled her, and she couldn't help but laugh. Soon the atmosphere changed; I flipped over and kissed her. At first, she reminded me to be careful not to be heard by her parents, but her body gradually softened. While caressing her, I pressed for details about the afternoon bus incident. Xiao Yue blushed and haltingly described how that person had pressed against her from behind, rubbed, reached into her clothes to fondle, and even prodded through her panties. Those images fueled my desire, and in the end, I couldn't resist entering her, using the passion of the moment to override the restlessness of the day. When it was over, she leaned against me and whispered, "Just this once," then pushed me back to my own room.
The next morning, Xiaoyue's father mentioned that Uncle Li would be coming for dinner that night. Xiaoyue explained he was her father's comrade from their army days, they'd known each other for over thirty years, were very close, and he rarely came to W City. We went to the market to buy groceries. When Xiaoyue bent over to pick things, her wide-necked T-shirt and tight jeans inevitably revealed more than intended, attracting quite a few glances. Watching this stirred another wave of complex excitement within me.
In the evening Uncle Li arrived. He was pushing a stroller, and inside was his fifteen-month-old grandson Beibei. Uncle Li was also broad-built, and when he saw Xiaoyue, his eyes lit up, praising her for becoming more and more beautiful. Xiaoyue picked up Beibei and kissed him affectionately, but the little one suddenly latched onto her chest and started sucking, getting a small patch of her T-shirt wet. The scene was somewhat awkward, and Uncle Li hurriedly took the child away, though his eyes covertly swept over Xiaoyue’s chest.
At the dinner table, father and Uncle Li were drinking competitively, and Xiao Yue and I also had a few glasses. As the delayed effect kicked in, Xiao Yue leaned on the sofa and fell asleep, and father was even more drunk, completely unconscious. Uncle Li seemed to still be holding up; after helping me upstairs, he said he would see Xiao Yue back to her room.
Not long after I returned to my room, I felt uneasy. I quietly went out and found Xiao Yue's door slightly ajar. Through the crack, I saw Uncle Li sitting by the bed, gazing at Xiao Yue, who had already changed into her pajamas. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, gradually moving to her lips, his tongue probing in. His hands also began to wander, sliding from her face to her chest, kneading through her pajamas, then reaching into her clothes to push aside her bra and directly touch her skin. His other hand slipped into her pajama pants, his movements growing larger. Xiao Yue, half-asleep, thought it was me and murmured, "Tomorrow..." When she finally opened her eyes and saw it was Uncle Li, she was so frightened she tried to scream, but he covered her mouth.
Uncle Li whispered, urging her not to alarm the family, while his fingers sped up their movements. Xiao Yue's body went limp, her resistance gradually weakening. Uncle Li simply picked her up horizontally and carried her downstairs back to his own room. My heart pounding with fear, I followed to the door. Through a crack, I saw Xiao Yue had already been stripped naked, only her discarded clothes beside her. Uncle Li, after undressing, revealed a robust body and an astonishingly large organ, then pressed down on her.
Xiaoyue cried, begging him to stop, but was forcibly entered. His large size made her moan in pain. Uncle Li ignored her pleas and began thrusting, uttering vulgar praises. Xiaoyue's pain gradually turned into sobbing moans, her body reacting under the influence of alcohol and stimulation. Uncle Li changed positions—from behind, from the side—each time going very deep. Later, Xiaoyue was already in a daze, even being forced to clean him with her mouth. Only after finishing did Uncle Li stop.
I quietly returned to my room, my emotions extremely complex. Excitement, anger, and guilt were all mixed together. In the end, I could only relieve myself once alone before falling into a deep sleep.
The next morning when I woke up again, it wasn't yet dawn. I couldn't help but go downstairs to check. Xiaoyue's voice came from Uncle Li's room again. She was lying on her side, Uncle Li entered her from behind, his hand still kneading her chest. Xiaoyue complained that he was going too far, but Uncle Li said once wasn't enough, he wanted her body to remember. They did it again, and this time Uncle Li didn't pull out, he came directly inside. Xiaoyue cried and begged him not to, but was powerless to stop him.
At noon, Uncle Li took his leave. Father warmly told him to come often. Uncle Li smiled and said that in the future he would bring his business to W City, so they could meet often.
After the guests left, peace returned to the house. Xiao Yue seemed somewhat absent-minded all day, and her walking posture was slightly unnatural. I pretended not to notice anything, chatting with her and watching TV, but I didn't go to her room again that night.
In the dead of night, I lie in bed recalling everything that happened these past two days. The harassment on the bus, the transgression at night, the continuation in the morning... Xiao Yue's body experienced too much in such a short time. And I, as the official boyfriend, derived a twisted pleasure from peeping, without truly stopping it.
This family visit trip, originally just an ordinary itinerary to meet the parents, has completely changed something. Will Xiao Yue still trust me as before? And how should I face her, and face the dark excitement within my own heart?
The answer might not be revealed until long after. And now, the summer night breeze blew in from the window, carrying a hint of barely perceptible coolness.
I hardly slept that night. The scenes from Uncle Li's room kept replaying in my mind: Xiao Yue's naked body, her suppressed sobs, Uncle Li's heavy panting, and that final phrase, 'Let her body remember.' These images were terrifyingly clear and so stimulating that I got hard again and again. I ended up using my hand to take care of it twice before I could barely close my eyes before dawn.
The next morning at breakfast, the atmosphere was somewhat delicate.
Xiaoyue was clearly not in good spirits, with slight bloodshot eyes and walking a bit slower than usual. She helped her mother serve porridge and pick up dishes, but her movements seemed somewhat absent-minded. Father, on the other hand, had fully regained his energy and was still chatting with mother about how enjoyable last night's drinking session with Uncle Li was. I sat to the side, trying hard to appear normal, but couldn't help glancing at Xiaoyue out of the corner of my eye.
Once, she looked up and met my gaze. In that instant, a flicker of panic flashed in her eyes before she quickly looked down again. My heart tightened—did she notice something? Or was she just feeling guilty about last night?
After dinner, father went for a walk in the residential area, and mother went into the kitchen to clean up. Only Xiao Yue and I were left in the living room.
The silence lasted a long time.
In the end, she was the first to speak, her voice very low: 'Feng... did you hear anything last night?'
My heart skipped a beat. I forced myself to stay calm: 'Hear what? I drank too much, fell asleep as soon as I lay down. What's wrong?'
Xiaoyue stared at her own fingers for several seconds before gently shaking her head: 'It's nothing. Maybe I'm overthinking it.'
She didn't press further, and I didn't bring it up again. But in that moment, I knew some cracks had already appeared.
In the morning we went out shopping together. Xiaoyue changed into a loose long-sleeved shirt and long pants, wrapping her body up tightly. In the past, she liked to wear short skirts and tank tops in summer, but today she was completely the opposite. Walking along the pedestrian street, she would occasionally subconsciously cover her chest or avoid crowded places.
At noon while eating in the restaurant, she ordered only light dishes and ate very little. I tentatively asked her if she was feeling unwell, and she just smiled and said she might have drunk too much last night, so her stomach felt a bit uncomfortable.
On the bus back in the afternoon, there were more people again. Xiaoyue stood close against me, one hand gripping the hem of my clothes tightly. When the bus swayed, someone behind inevitably pressed against us. Her body clearly stiffened for a moment, and she subconsciously leaned toward me. I reached out to wrap an arm around her shoulder and held her in my arms.
At that moment, she whispered, 'With you here, it's enough.'
The voice was very soft, yet like a needle, piercing my heart.
After returning home, my father received another call from Uncle Li. The two of them laughed heartily on the phone, agreeing that when Uncle Li came to W City next month for business, they would definitely get together again. After hanging up, my father also told us, 'Old Li is a straightforward guy, and he treats Xiaoyue like his own daughter. When he comes in the future, you should get closer to him too.'
Xiaoyue lowered her head and responded with a sound, but her fingers secretly twisted the hem of her clothes tighter.
While washing up in the evening, I heard faint sounds of water from the bathroom. The door wasn't closed tightly. Through the crack, I saw Xiao Yue facing the mirror, gently pressing her chest and lower abdomen, with a somewhat pained expression. Hot water flowed over her body; she closed her eyes, her shoulders trembling slightly.
That night, I didn't go to her room again.
But insomnia became the norm for the next few days.
Every time I close my eyes, the image of Uncle Li pressing down on her appears before me. Sometimes it's anger, sometimes a darker excitement. I even fantasize about what would have happened if I had pushed the door open then—would I have exploded on the spot, or... joined in? These thoughts make me both disgusted with myself and unable to control them.
There was also a noticeable change on Xiaoyue's side.
She became quieter than before, occasionally zoning out suddenly. Once when I hugged her from behind, her body tensed up instantly, only relaxing after several seconds. At night, although she still let me into the room, she rarely responded actively like she used to. Sometimes in the middle of it, she would suddenly push me away with reddened eyes, saying she was tired.
I knew she was forcing herself to act normal.
And I am also forcing myself to pretend I know nothing.
What truly shattered the peace was a phone call a week later.
That afternoon, Xiao Yue went to school to handle some credit-related matters, and I was home alone. My father's phone was on the coffee table and suddenly rang. The screen showed Uncle Li's number. I hesitated for a few seconds but still pressed answer, though I didn't make a sound.
From the other end of the phone came Uncle Li's somewhat hoarse voice: "Old Ning? Are you there? I just wanted to ask, how has Xiao Yue been lately? That night... ahem, I mean, has she been feeling unwell?"
I didn't answer.
Uncle Li seemed to think the signal was bad and added, 'Tell her that I'll come to W City next month and bring her something. I left in a hurry last time, and there were some things I didn't finish saying. You can have her answer the phone too.'
I listened quietly until he hung up.
At that moment, I suddenly realized this matter was far from over. Uncle Li obviously wanted to continue. And Xiao Yue seemed to have become an object he could demand from at any time in his eyes.
After Xiao Yue returned in the evening, I told her about the phone call—of course omitting the part where I eavesdropped, only saying that Father mentioned Uncle Li was concerned about her.
Xiaoyue's face instantly turned pale.
She sat on the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets tightly, and after a long while said softly, "Feng... if he comes again, what should I do?"
I sat down beside her and took her hand. 'What do you want to do?'
She shook her head, tears suddenly falling. 'I don't know. That night I drank too much, at first I thought it was you... by the time I woke up, it was too late. I was afraid to cry out, even more afraid my parents would find out. Later he... he went too far. The next morning he came again, and I couldn't push him away at all. My whole mind was blank, I just wanted it to end quickly.'
The more she spoke, the more agitated she became, until finally she was almost crying as she leaned on my shoulder.
"Am I really that dirty? Do you look down on me?"
I tightened my arms, holding her tighter. "No. You're the victim. He's the one who's wrong."
But even saying that, the twisted excitement in my heart welled up again. The image of Xiaoyue being forced by an elder she respected, being entered, being inseminated, replayed clearly in my mind. I hate myself for having this reaction, yet I cannot deny its existence.
That night we didn't have sex. I just held her until she cried herself to sleep.
The days that followed maintained an eerie calm.
Xiaoyue began deliberately avoiding any chance of being alone with Uncle Li. When her father brought it up again, she made excuses about school matters. I also cooperated with her, trying my best to prevent the two from having any opportunity to be alone together.
But Uncle Li seemed unwilling to let go so easily.
Half a month later, he came to W City again. This time he claimed he was there on business and stayed at a hotel in the city center. Father warmly invited him to come home for dinner, but Uncle Li said it would be inconvenient and instead invited our whole family to the hotel restaurant.
Xiaoyue hardly spoke that evening. During the meal, Uncle Li glanced at her several times, and she quickly avoided his gaze. After dinner, father and Uncle Li went to the hotel lobby to smoke and chat, while mother went to the restroom. Xiaoyue and I were left alone in the private room.
The air was terrifyingly quiet.
Xiaoyue suddenly grabbed my hand, so hard it hurt a little. 'Feng, let's leave early. I don't want to stay here anymore.'
I nodded.
Just as we got up to leave, the private room door was pushed open. Uncle Li walked in, with no one else behind him.
He closed the door, his face flushed from alcohol and with undisguised desire.
“Xiaoyue, come out for a moment. Uncle has a few words he wants to say to you alone.”
Xiaoyue's body stiffened. I stepped in front of her, my voice calm: 'Uncle Li, if there's anything, you can say it in front of me.'
Uncle Li looked at me and smiled. 'Xiao Feng, some matters aren't convenient to discuss in front of you. Rest assured, I'm just concerned about her. Last time I left in a hurry, I wanted to make it up to her a little.'
He took a delicate box from his pocket and put it on the table. “A bracelet, brought back from abroad. For Xiao Yue.”
Xiaoyue did not reach for it.
Uncle Li wasn't angry either, just took a step closer, lowering his voice: 'Xiao Yue, what I did that night was excessive. But you can't blame me entirely. Your body... it's just too hard to resist. I came this time to properly apologize to you. And also... to make it up to you.'
His gaze openly raked over Xiao Yue's body.
I felt Xiao Yue's fingers trembling. I held her hand tightly and looked directly at Uncle Li: 'Uncle Li, that's enough. If there's a next time, I won't be polite.'
Uncle Li was taken aback for a moment, then burst into hearty laughter. 'Alright, alright. Young people have their temper. Fine, uncle will act as if nothing happened today. You two go ahead, I'll have a couple more drinks with Old Ning.'
He stepped aside. We almost fled the hotel.
In the car, Xiao Yue remained silent. Not until we were almost home did she speak softly: 'Feng... thank you.'
I grunted in acknowledgment, but in my heart, I knew clearly that someone like Uncle Li wouldn't just let it go.
Sure enough, three days later, Xiao Yue received a text message from an unfamiliar number.
The content is very simple: next Friday night at eight, same hotel. Room number xxx. Come or not, it’s up to you. By the way, the collaboration your dad’s company has been negotiating recently, I have some connections there. Of course, if it’s not convenient for you, I can understand.
When Xiaoyue handed me her phone to look at, her hand was trembling.
"He's threatening me," she said, her voice dry. "With Dad's business."
I was silent for a long time.
In the end, I asked her, 'Do you want to go?'
Xiaoyue looked up sharply, her eyes filled with disbelief. 'You... what did you say?'
"I mean, if you feel you have to go, I'll go with you. Or... we'll find a way to solve it completely."
Xiaoyue stared at me for a long time. Suddenly she laughed, a somewhat desolate laugh. 'Feng, you know what? Sometimes I really can't tell whether you feel sorry for me, or... actually want to see him touch me again.'
That sentence was like a knife, precisely stabbing into the place I least wanted to face.
I couldn't refute it.
Because even I myself don't know the answer.
That night, Xiaoyue didn't let me stay in her room. She said she wanted to be alone and quiet.
I lay on my own bed, listening to the faint movements next door—she must have been in the bathroom for a long time again. After the water stopped, there was no other sound for a long time.
I know, no matter what choice she ultimately makes, things between us can never go back to how they were.
That door that was forcibly opened could never be closed again.
And the wind still blew in from the window, carrying the uniquely humid and ambiguous scent of a summer night.
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