I remember my first anal dilation was in the summer of 2003. That year, SARS was rampant. Because a colleague was suspected of having SARS, we were all listed as subjects for inspection. Those with suspected symptoms were isolated in special wards. After our check-up, those without symptoms were sent home on leave. The entire residential compound was also on high alert, strictly controlled, with outsiders absolutely forbidden entry. Of course, my girlfriend and I were also separated.
I rent an apartment alone. Since my girlfriend isn't around and I couldn't go out, I was extremely bored and unbearably lonely throughout the entire holiday, spending all day on porn sites to pass the time. Jerking off became an important part of my life. However, I quickly grew tired of that and started looking for some more hardcore videos online, mainly out of curiosity at the time. Because internet censorship of porn is quite strict domestically, I usually used a VPN to go to overseas forums to find resources. I remember going to a Taiwanese forum called the Chikan Club, and that's where I saw some videos of Alysha, the Hardcore Expansion Queen. I was utterly shocked—how could a person's genitals and anus be so grand and spectacular, truly unimaginable. Watching them, I became unbearably aroused. After jerking off a few times, I found it quite boring and started trying anal expansion on myself.
To make the whole process less disgusting, doing an enema is very necessary. I stayed in the bathroom, adjusted the water temperature with the shower faucet, unscrewed the showerhead, blocked the anus opening with the hose, and the water flow was a bit strong. I could feel a hot stream hiss in. My belly immediately felt distended and painfully heavy, and the urge to defecate came at once. I hurriedly squatted on the toilet and emptied myself all at once. Then I did a second enema until, in the end, only clear water came out. At that point I felt much more relaxed and refreshed, and the old stool accumulated over time had also been flushed clean.
My career in anal expansion officially began. At first, it was far from as easy as I had imagined. I used a single finger to insert into my anus, but encountered strong resistance. Just as I managed to insert one finger joint, I felt a strong urge to defecate, and the sphincter muscle's defense mechanism kicked in, pushing the finger out of my body. I tried to relax my anus and let the sphincter muscle accept this foreign object. After several slow insertions and withdrawals, my anus finally adapted to the intrusion. I then used two fingers to insert into my anus. At this point, my anus was no longer so tense, and after adapting to two fingers, it could fully accept them. I began to consider using other objects instead of fingers. I searched the entire room, and the only tool suitable for initial development was a screwdriver. The diameter of the handle was about 2 centimeters. I carefully washed the handle and inserted it into my anus. Instantly, an indescribable pain spread through me, and my anus eagerly pushed the handle out. Moreover, the handle was too rough, and inserting it was painful. I applied some body lotion on it and reinserted the handle. I forced myself not to expel it, and after several repeated insertions, my anus no longer resisted. I slowly inserted and withdrew the screwdriver handle, and the pain gradually disappeared. A strange sensation took over my mind, making me dizzy. I couldn't tell whether it was pain or pleasure. I felt a wave of urge to defecate inside, yet nothing came out. I thought I would ejaculate under such circumstances, but I didn't. I continued until my legs were weak, then I pulled out the screwdriver, which was covered in fecal fluid. I washed my anus, stood up, and felt my legs weak and my whole body exhausted. I went to bed to rest.
When I woke up, it was already evening. I felt unusually hungry, probably because the enema had emptied everything out of my intestines. At the same time, my anus felt a bit swollen. I touched it with my hand, and it really was swollen, tightly closed. A few hours earlier, something 2 centimeters thick could still get in, but now even inserting a finger would probably be difficult. After eating a little dinner and taking a shower, I still wanted to continue, but the swelling pain made me feel no pleasure at all, so I gave up.
Early the next morning, I was again awakened by sexual desire, my dick standing tall, couldn't help but want to masturbate, but thought there were more exciting and fun things to do. The anus didn't feel as swollen, no strange sensations either. I went into the bathroom for an enema again. After cleaning, this time directly inserted the screwdriver handle. The sore feeling was even more intense, I had to pull the screwdriver handle out and massage with two fingers. After adapting to the fingers, inserted the screwdriver handle again, felt much better. Squatting on the ground, I felt the screwdriver handle could no longer satisfy me. Searched the whole house but couldn't find anything slightly larger. Thrusting for a while, the neighborhood committee people downstairs called for people to buy groceries (during SARS, groceries were uniformly delivered to the community entrance, then we'd go down to buy).
I put on my clothes and ran downstairs. As soon as I reached the pile of vegetables on the ground, I immediately noticed a bunch of cucumbers and eggplants. They were the thin kind of eggplants, roughly about 3 centimeters in thickness, though of course there were larger ones. I bought a few cucumbers and one eggplant of each size, from small to large. The largest diameter was probably around 5 centimeters. At that time, this seemed incredibly large to me; I never imagined I would insert something that big into my anus. Even though no one would suspect a man buying these items for any other purpose, I still felt guilty. To avoid drawing attention, I bought some other vegetables and meat, and also went to the small store to get two bottles of beer before heading back upstairs.
As soon as I entered the room, I couldn't wait to take off my clothes, rinsed the cucumbers and eggplants clean, and lined them up on the floor from small to large. I picked the thinnest cucumber, wiped off all the spikes, rubbed on some moisturizer, and it went in very easily. After thrusting a few times, I felt nothing much at the anus, so I started switching to a thicker one. In fact, it wasn't much thicker either, until the anus could adapt to the head of the thickest cucumber. I started switching to the eggplant. I have to say, eggplants are a pretty good masturbation tool for both women and men. The skin is very smooth, and the thickness can be whatever you want. Over the years, eggplants have always been by my side.
The thinnest eggplant was about 3 centimeters in diameter, roughly the same thickness as the thickest cucumber, so it was easy to insert. After a few insertions, I switched to a slightly thicker eggplant, which was about one circumference thicker than the previous one, estimating a diameter of 3.5 centimeters. This time, it was more difficult to insert. Just as it started to go in, the sphincter muscle pushed it out eagerly, and along with a strong urge to defecate came a feeling of fullness, an indescribable sensation, very strange and exciting. After the anus could fully adapt to this eggplant, I turned my target to the thickest one, the giant one. Of course, this size was small for me now, but at that time, it was so big that it was terrifying. After thoroughly lubricating with shower gel, I started inserting it into the anus. The tip could go in easily, but the thickest part could not break through because it was too painful, an unbearable pain. At that moment, I was thinking if giving birth to a child was also like this pain. I tried a different method, letting the anus gradually adapt to this width, pushing it in bit by bit, fighting against the resistance of the sphincter muscle. Finally, my hands got sore and I couldn't make any further progress, so I had to rest for a while. When my strength recovered, I stood the eggplant upright and sat down half-squatting, each time getting stuck at the widest part. The pain made me want to give up, but thinking of the AV actress, I gritted my teeth and decided to sit down. This time, the eggplant zoomed in quickly, and I was so painful that I blacked out, and at the same time, a stream of urine shot out from my penis. I thought that must have been prostate fluid. I quickly pulled out the eggplant, and there was a tearing pain in the anus, burning hot. I touched it with my hand and found it was bleeding. I was very scared, not knowing if I had injured the large intestine or torn the anus. I rinsed it several times with water, and no more blood came out. I put my mind at rest and lay down tiredly on the bed.
Over the next two or three days, the opening of my anus was very swollen and somewhat painful, so I didn’t dare keep playing. I was afraid the wound would get infected, so I took antibiotics for two days. Looking back now, I was indeed too hasty and aggressive; challenging 5 cm after only one day was enough to make my body unable to bear it, so later on I was very careful each time I challenged the next level.
A few days later, the residential complex still had not been reopened. Sometimes when going downstairs, we kept hearing neighbors saying that several SARS patients had been found in our complex, and everyone was panic-stricken. People from the epidemic prevention station came almost every day, telling us to wear masks when going downstairs and shining a red-light device at our foreheads. The company had called earlier to tell us to go to work, but not long after it called again and said not to come, with the specific time to be notified later. The days were still very boring.
One day, feeling that my anus should have healed recently, I started playing the old tricks again. After not touching my anus for a few days, it regained its former tightness, and it took a whole afternoon to reach the three-centimeter level. Any larger, and the old wound in my anus would split open—not very painful, but unpleasant. Playing around, I still didn't dare challenge the thickest one. Although a few days had passed and it had shrunk somewhat, its thickness still made me apprehensive. I knew that one day I would be able to reach that size, but now was not the time.
Playing with that 3-centimeter thing all day felt very dull. Searching the house, I couldn't find any transitional-sized anal dilation tools, which was quite frustrating. The vegetables delivered didn't yield a suitable eggplant either—they were either too thin or too thick.
Once when I went downstairs to the convenience store to buy cigarettes, I couldn't help but stare at those cylindrical bottles and jars, wondering if they could accommodate that. I found a small bottle of children's yogurt drink that seemed quite ideal, about 3-4 cm in diameter. I immediately bought two bottles and went back. First, I drank them. After using a thin eggplant for anal dilation, I tried inserting the bottle into my anus. That feeling of fullness returned, which was incredibly exciting. I touched my anus with my hand; there was no bleeding, so I relaxed and started thrusting it. I felt the size was just right, giving my anal opening a stretched-full feeling without pain. I even slept with it inside all night. My anus had completely adapted to the dilation. Playing with it for several consecutive days no longer caused swelling. During that time, I wanted to try that 5 cm one again, but still failed, finally deciding to give up.
Two days later, the neighborhood was reopened, and the company notified us to go back to work. This unexpected vacation lasted a total of twelve days. My girlfriend also came back to live with me. Because I had a sexual partner, that perverted thought gradually faded away. Sometimes when I went out to buy groceries and saw an eggplant that looked suitable, I would be tempted to buy it back and see whether my anus could still accept it, but regular sex made me lose interest in anal fucking. Of course, living together also did not provide a suitable opportunity. If she knew I had such a perverted hobby, I don’t know what she would think.
A few months later, I broke up with my girlfriend. Sometimes I could manage a one-night stand online, but I never found a girl who felt right to be together with. My sex life could be described as feast or famine. Sometimes I could have several in a month, sometimes I went one or two months without any. Sexual repression made me eager to try anal again.
I remember it was almost May, but the weather was still uncooperative, with indoor temperatures only around ten degrees Celsius. I shivered in the bathroom while giving myself an enema. After some simple dilation with my fingers, I inserted the purchased yogurt bottle. I was surprised to find that after so long, I could still easily dilate my anus to this size, and the elasticity seemed even better than before. I decided to continue developing it.
When I go grocery shopping or to the supermarket, I always unconsciously pay attention to those cylindrical objects. Even though I know some things might never fit inside me, I still buy them for backup. Enemas and anal dilation have almost become my nightly routine. After May, the weather gradually gets warmer. Doing enemas naked no longer feels cold, and I begin systematically training my anus.
Because some things can't be measured directly for diameter. I bought a tape measure, measured the circumference, and arranged them according to circumference. This way, I had a complete set of dilation tools. Each time I dilated, I would insert them from small to large. When the timing felt right, I'd challenge the next size. Each challenge brought me pain, excitement, and, of course, even more pleasure. This time, I was very careful, absolutely not skipping levels. Ultimately, my achievement stopped at inserting a 6 cm bottle bottom. The tool was a Coca-Cola can. I maintained this achievement for several years, until after marriage. Beyond that, there weren't particularly suitable tools. The bottom of a beer bottle is 6.5 cm in diameter. Although it's only a 5 mm difference, that's several levels. Every additional millimeter of expansion would take several days. Sometimes I'd buy eggplants, but it wasn't easy to find ones with the right size—some were too big, others slightly too small. I couldn't exactly take a tape measure and measure each one, and buying too many eggplants would leave me with nowhere to put them. If my wife saw them and cooked them, how embarrassing would that be?
I've always wanted to challenge inserting the bottom of a beer bottle, but even after thorough lubrication, it still couldn't enter at all; my pelvis blocked its progress. If it weren't for the bottle bottom being too flat, I think I would have broken through this bottle long ago. I persistently searched for transitional tools. On Taobao, I saw a manufacturer that customizes glass butt plugs, so I described the shape and size I wanted to the shopkeeper. When it arrived, I was utterly disappointed. The size didn't meet the standard, and it was too long. Once, while holding it in during a shower, I lost my grip, and it fell to the ground, shattering into several pieces.
Actually, the ideal tool for anal dilation should be silicone products; they are relatively soft, and even larger sizes can be accepted. But helplessly, after searching Taobao, I couldn't find such a gigantic size. Later, after some time, I saw online that someone posted about buying an extra-large silicone dildo labeled 6.5. I contacted him, got the address of the Taobao shop, and bought one for more than 100 yuan. The result was disappointing too; measured with a tape measure, it was barely 6 cm, and I could easily slip it in. After playing with it a few times, I felt it was boring and not as pleasurable as a can of beer, and besides, such a big thing had nowhere to be kept at home, and I was afraid my wife would see it, so I had to throw it away. I think I may never be able to fit a beer bottle in again, and Alysha can only make me look up in awe.
However, later Huiyuan launched a drink called Juice Fruit Fun, which finally allowed me to successfully break through this size and expand several levels upward. That bottle had a small, smooth bottom, a large belly in the middle, and a very narrow mouth. When I saw it in the supermarket, I held it in my hand and felt that it was unlikely I could insert it. I still bought it, went home and measured the circumference—it was 23.5 cm, which should be close to 7.5 cm in diameter. I doubted whether I could take it, but I still intended to try.
After drinking it, I hid the bottle. One day when my wife was working overtime on the weekend, I started doing an enema, using a soda can to stretch my anus (I can now insert a soda can without any preparation), lubricating the area around my anus and the drink bottle with shower gel. I placed the bottle upright on the ground with the bottom facing up and slowly squatted down. I could feel I was almost reaching the widest part of the bottle, but my anus wasn't very tense and seemed to still have some room. However, my pelvic bones tightly clamped onto the belly of the bottle. Going down a little more, the widest part finally entered completely. I felt the pelvic bones beneath my butt gradually spreading apart, which was somewhat painful but bearable. Gritting my teeth, I successfully sat the bottle all the way in. That long-lost feeling of soreness and fullness returned, and I greatly enjoyed it, but my sphincter and abdominal cavity strongly rejected it. I pulled it out, rested for a bit, and then inserted it again. After repeating this several times, my anus finally adapted to this size. Clenching the bottle, I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a beer bottle, cleaned it, and then sat down on it with the bottom facing up. The skin around my anus tightened. The raised small letters around the edge of the bottle bottom made the skin around my anus feel somewhat painful, but it was also bearable. Eventually, it successfully broke through the limitation of my pelvis and entered my body. The full, sore, and swollen feeling made me dizzy. I pulled it out and then inserted it again. After repeating this several times, when I felt I could handle it, I bent over, holding the bottle, and walked into the bedroom. Facing the full-length mirror, I saw that dark green bottle enlarging my anus into a huge circle. This feeling was truly intoxicating.
23.5 cm — that's already my limit, I can't go beyond it. Because I can feel the bottle rubbing tightly against my pelvic bones. Anything larger is simply impossible unless there are no bone restrictions at all. And this size is on a softer drink bottle; when inserted into the body, the bottle gets compressed and deforms slightly to fit the shape of the bones. If it were glass or something else hard, it would be completely impossible.
Postscript: Many people may ask whether doing this to the anus will make it loose and unable to close properly. I can responsibly say, absolutely not. Unless you are too eager for quick results and strain the sphincter, then it’s hard to say. So far I haven’t noticed anything unusual, including no incontinence even when I caught a chill and had diarrhea. As for the hobby of dilating the anus, I think it is still driven by sexual repression. With a normal sex life, I generally would not play with my chrysanthemum. For me right now as well, when I’m away on business and sometimes stay for half a month or even longer, this is just a way to vent desire.
Title
Self-exploration during the SARS quarantine period: A ten-year record from curiosity to extreme expansion
Keywords
Urban passion, self-exploration, anal expansion, adult male, bizarre and alternative, sense of real experience
Description
During the SARS outbreak in 2003, a young man quarantined at home due to loneliness and sexual repression began trying anal dilation. From fingers and a screwdriver at first, to cucumbers, eggplants, yogurt bottles, and then soda cans and juice bottles, he gradually challenged the limits of his body. Intermittent training over ten years was both an outlet for desire and a lonely, persistent journey of self-exploration.
Main text
In the summer of 2003, SARS raged.
A colleague at the company developed suspected symptoms, and all of us were included in the inspection list. Those without symptoms were asked to take leave and go home, and the neighborhood also imposed strict control, with outside personnel absolutely not allowed to enter. My girlfriend and I were far apart, so we could only stay at home separately.
I rent a house alone. The holidays are long and boring, and I can only pass the time online all day. Masturbating became a major part of my daily routine, but I soon grew tired of it. I started looking for more hardcore videos online, mainly out of curiosity at the time. Because of China's strict anti-pornography crackdown, I could only use a VPN to access overseas forums. I remember seeing Alysha's Expansion Queen series on a Taiwanese forum called "Chikan Club."
I was utterly shocked that a person’s body could actually be expanded to that extent.
The more I watched, the more impulsive and unbearable I felt. After masturbating a few times and finding it boring, I began to try it myself.
To make the process less disgusting, an enema is necessary. I adjusted the water temperature in the bathroom, unscrewed the showerhead, and blocked the anus with the hose. The water flow was a bit urgent; a hot stream went in, my belly immediately became distended and painful, and a strong urge to defecate surged up. I squatted on the toilet and emptied myself, then did a second time until only clear water came out. I felt much more relaxed.
Anal dilation officially begins.
At first it was far from easy. As soon as one finger entered one knuckle’s depth, the intense urge to defecate and the sphincter’s resistance pushed it out. I tried to relax, and after several slow in-and-out motions, the anus finally adapted. Then I switched to two fingers, and after adapting, I began looking for a substitute tool.
In the entire room, the only suitable initial tool was a screwdriver, its handle diameter about two centimeters. I washed it carefully, applied lotion, and upon insertion, an indescribable soreness spread. My anus urgently tried to push it out. After several attempts, it finally stopped resisting. Holding the handle, I slowly thrust it in and out. The soreness gradually faded, replaced by another strange sensation that made my head spin—unclear whether it was pain or pleasure. Waves of the urge to defecate hit my stomach, but nothing came out. I played until my legs went weak before pulling it out; the handle was covered in intestinal fluid.
When I woke up, it was already evening. I was unusually hungry; I guessed the enema had emptied my intestines. My anus felt a bit swollen; when I touched it, it really was swollen and tightly closed. Something that could still get in two centimeters a few hours earlier now probably couldn’t even accept a finger. After eating a simple dinner and taking a shower, I wanted to continue, but the swelling pain left me with no pleasure at all, so I had to give up.
Woke up early the next morning due to sexual desire. The anus didn't seem as swollen. After another enema, directly tried the screwdriver handle, the soreness was even worse. After massaging and adapting with two fingers, then inserted it again, felt much better. Squatted on the ground thrusting for a while, felt it wasn't enough anymore. Then the neighborhood committee downstairs called people to go buy groceries—during the SARS period, supplies were uniformly delivered to the community entrance.
I put on my clothes and went downstairs. Among the pile of vegetables, I spotted cucumbers and eggplants at a glance. The thin eggplants were about three centimeters thick, and there were larger ones too. I bought a few cucumbers and one eggplant of each size, from small to large. The largest one was probably about five centimeters in diameter. At the time, I thought that was terrifyingly big. To avoid drawing attention, I also bought some other vegetables and meat, as well as two bottles of beer.
Just after entering the room, I couldn't wait to take off my clothes, rinsed the cucumbers and eggplants clean, and lined them up from small to large. The thinnest cucumber went in easily. After thrusting a few times, I switched to a thicker one, until I got used to the head of the thickest cucumber. Then I switched to the eggplant. The thinnest was about three centimeters and went in very smoothly. The next one was about three and a half centimeters; stuffing it in was much more difficult. The sphincter immediately wanted to push it out, along with a strong urge to defecate and a feeling of fullness and distension. After getting used to it, the target shifted to the thickest one.
After lubing up well, I inserted it inside; the pointed tip went in easily, but the thickest part could never get through, and the pain was unbearable. I tried pushing it down little by little, but even after my hands were sore, there was no greater breakthrough. Later I changed to holding the eggplant upright and squatting halfway before sitting down. Every time it got stuck at the widest part, the pain made me want to give up. I gritted my teeth and sat down hard, and the eggplant shot in. My vision went black, and at the same time a stream of liquid sprayed out from the front, probably prostate fluid. I quickly pulled it out, and the anus burned with tearing pain. When I touched it with my hand, it was actually bleeding. After rinsing it several times and seeing that it was no longer bleeding, I finally felt relieved and lay down exhausted.
For the next two or three days, the entrance to the anus was swollen and sore, so I didn’t dare continue, and I even took antibiotics for two days. Looking back now, I was too eager to push forward; challenging five centimeters within a single day was indeed beyond what the body could bear. After that, every time I moved up a level, I became more cautious.
The residential community was still not unsealed, and people were panicked. The company first notified about returning to work, but soon said it was postponed. Life remained boring.
Feeling that after the wound healed, it started again. After a few days without playing, the anus regained its tightness, and it took another afternoon to get back to the three-centimeter level. Any larger and the old injury would ache faintly. I didn't dare challenge the thickest eggplant.
Once when going downstairs to buy cigarettes, I couldn't help but stare at cylindrical bottles and jars. I noticed that children's yogurt bottles were about three to four centimeters thick, so I immediately bought two. After drinking them, I used a thin eggplant for dilation, then tried the bottles. The feeling of fullness returned, and I was thrilled. I checked and there was no bleeding, so I felt at ease thrusting, even sleeping with it clamped inside overnight. My anus had already adapted to several consecutive days of dilation without swelling anymore.
In a few days the neighborhood will be reopened and the company will notify us to return to work. This unexpected holiday lasted a total of twelve days. After my girlfriend came back to live with me, having a sexual partner made that thought gradually fade. Sometimes when buying groceries and seeing a suitable eggplant, I would feel tempted, but regular sex reduced my interest, and living together was also inconvenient.
A few months later, she broke up with her girlfriend. Their sex life became feast-or-famine. Sexual frustration made me eager to try anal again.
I remember it was almost May, and the indoor temperature was only around ten degrees Celsius. I shivered in the bathroom while giving myself an enema, did some simple dilation, and then inserted the yogurt bottle. I was surprised to find that after so long, I could still easily reach this size, and the elasticity seemed even better. I decided to continue.
When shopping at the supermarket or market, I always unconsciously notice cylindrical objects. Enemas and anal dilation almost became a nightly routine. As the weather grew warmer, I began systematic training. I bought a tape measure and arranged my tools by circumference. Each time, I'd go through them from small to large, challenging the next size when the timing was right. Every challenge was accompanied by pain and excitement, but even more so by pleasure. My final achievement settled at six centimeters (the bottom of a Coca-Cola can), a record that lasted for several years, until after I got married.
Going higher than that was difficult. The bottom of a beer bottle was 6.5 centimeters; although it was only 5 millimeters more, it was several levels higher. Every additional millimeter took several days. A custom-made anal plug from Taobao was disappointing; the size was not up to standard and it was too long. One time it fell and shattered when I was showering because I failed to clamp it. Silicone products were ideal, but I couldn’t find a large enough model. I bought a silicone dildo labeled 6.5, but it was actually only 6 centimeters. After it entered easily, it felt boring, and it was not easy to store either, so I threw it away in the end.
Later Huiyuan launched a juice drink called Guole. The bottle had a small, smooth bottom and a large belly in the middle. I measured the circumference at 23.5 cm, which converts to a diameter of nearly 7.5 cm. I suspected I wouldn’t be able to fit it, but I still decided to try.
Taking advantage of my wife working overtime on the weekend, I used an enema, then dilated with a soda can, applied ample lubrication, stood the bottle upright on the ground, and slowly sat down. When I felt I was nearing the widest part, the anal opening wasn't too tight yet, but the pelvic bones on both sides were squeezing tightly. Going down a bit more, the widest part fully entered, and the pelvic bones gradually spread apart. It was somewhat painful but bearable. Gritting my teeth, I sat all the way in, and the long-missed sore, swollen feeling returned. After several repetitions, my anus adapted to this size. Next, I tried the bottom of a beer bottle and also succeeded in breaking through. Looking in the full-length mirror, I saw the dark green bottle enlarging my anus into a huge circle. That feeling was intoxicating.
23.5 centimeters is already the limit. The bottle rubbed tightly against the pelvic bones; any bigger would be impossible unless there were no bone constraints. And this size was achieved with a softer beverage bottle; with hard materials it was nearly impossible.
Postscript: Many people ask whether this will cause looseness or an inability to close properly. I can responsibly say that as long as you don’t rush for quick results and strain the sphincter, absolutely not. So far I haven’t found any abnormalities at all, including no incontinence even when I caught a chill and had diarrhea. This hobby is mainly driven by sexual repression. When I have a normal sex life, I generally don’t play. Only when I’m away on business for half a month or even longer do I use this method to vent a bit.
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